A nun was sitting at the airport waiting for her flight to
Chicago. She looked over & saw one of those weight machines that tells your fortune.

Deciding to give it a try, she went to the machine, stepped
on the scale and put her nickel in. Out came a card saying, "You are a nun, you weigh 128 Lbs and you're going to Chicago".

The nun sat back down & told herself the machine probably
gives the same reading to Everyone. The more she thought about it, the more curious she was, so she decided to try it again.

She went back to the machine and put another nickel in. Out came a card, "You are a nun, you weigh 128 lbs, you are going to Chicago and you're going to play a fiddle.

The nun said to herself, I know this is wrong. I've never
played a musical instrument In my life. She went back to her seat. Then, a cowboy came and sat down, putting
his fiddle on the seat between them.

Without thinking, she opened the case, took out the fiddle and started playing. Surprised at what she'd done, she looked at the machine and decided to try again.

She went back and put in another nickel. The card said "You are a nun, you weigh 128 lbs, you are going to Chicago & you're going to break wind."

Now, she knew the machine was wrong. She'd never broken wind in public in her life. But getting off the scale, she slipped and straining to keep from falling, she broke wind.

Stunned, she sat down and looked at the machine, thinking I have to try this again. She went back to the machine and dropped in another nickel.

Another Card came out. It read, "You are a nun, you weigh 128 lbs, you've fiddled & farted around & missed
your flight to Chicago.


Q. what do ducks eat?

A. quackers :-)


Knock, knock!

Who's there?

George Washington!

George Washington who?

George Washington who?!! Didn't you learn anything in history class?!!


Knock Knock.

Who’s there?


Tank who?

You're welcome!


A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his beautiful, blond, female neighbor came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox.

She opened it, looked inside, slammed it shut, and stormed back into her house.

A little later she came out of her house again, went to the mailbox, again opened it, and slammed it shut again. Angrily, back into the house she went.

As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, here she came again. She marched to the mailbox, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever.

Puzzled by her actions, the man asked her, "Is something wrong?"

To which she replied, "There certainly is! My stupid computer keeps telling me I've got mail!"


Two bowling teams, one of all blondes and one of all brunettes, charter a double-decker bus for a weekend bowling tournament in Atlanta.

The brunette team rides on the bottom of the bus. The blonde team rides on the top level.

The brunette team down below is partying having a great time, when one of them realizes she doesn't hear anything from the blondes upstairs.

She decides to get up and investigate. When the brunette reaches the top, she finds all the blondes frozen in fear, staring straight ahead at the road, and clutching the seats in front of them with white knuckles.

The brunette asks, "What the heck's going on up here? We're having a great time downstairs!"

One of the blondes looks up at her, swallows hard and says, "YEAH, BUT YOU'VE GOT A DRIVER!"


There was a dumb blonde, a red head, and a brown hair kid. They were surrounded by a firing squad. The red head yells "Tsunami" and he got away. The red head kid yelled "Tornado" and he got away. The dumb blonde yells "Fire" and gets shot.

Special thanks to my friend John.


There was a dumb blonde, a red head, a brown hair kid. They are getting chased by cops. The red head hides in a cow pen and says "MOOOOOOOOOOOOO". The police think that there is noone there. The brown hair kid hides in a pig pen and say "OINK OINK". The police thinks there is noone there. The blonde hides in a potato sack and says "PPPPPPPPPOOOOOOOOOTTTTTTAAAAAAAAATTTTOOOOOOO" and gets caught.
Special thanks to John.

Blonde and the Puzzle

There was a blonde who was happy that she finished a puzzle in six months. The front of the box said 2-4 years.

For all your needs and entertainment!